The New Gotham

A modest 2026 proposal to revive Batman. Hollywood, take note.

My brother and I used to watch Batman and Superman back-to-back from 4:30 to 5:30 while mom prepared dinner.

My dad would arrive home from work around then, and after he showered and changed following a long day as a maintenance supervisor at Yeshiva University in Washington Heights, we’d sit down to my mom’s delicious offerings — everything from cheese blintzes to stuffed cabbage. If anyone could make even liver and onions taste like a treat, my mom could.

The first course was always a platter of fresh cut fruit in front of the TV. I loved that ritual.

The bad guys were fantasy. Sure they were scary but the caped heroes always won. The moral lines felt clear.

What I couldn’t yet appreciate was that the truest heroes in my world were already home from battle.

Two survivor heroes in my home neither wearing capes.

And still, childhood let me believe evil was something contained safely inside our small Zenith TV screen — arriving and disappearing neatly within the hour.

Today, even the heroes seem to be scratching their heads.

Watching footage out of Brooklyn this week outside a synagogue, along residential streets, with threats and reported violence aimed at Jews, I had the strange feeling that Gotham no longer feels fictional.

So in a mix of nostalgia, disbelief, and dark humor, I found myself imagining what a revived Batman episode might look like.

BATMAN: GOTHAM, BOROUGH OF BROOKLYN

Cold open. Sirens. Helicopter shot over Brooklyn.

COMMISSIONER GORDON:
Batman… we’ve got another disturbance outside a house of worship.

BATMAN (gravelly):
Joker again?

GORDON:
Worse. People convinced they’re the good guys.

Cut to chaotic street scene. Protesters in masks shouting contradictory slogans. Someone livestreaming. Someone else explaining why intimidation is actually “justice.”

BATMAN:
Who are they targeting?

GORDON:
Jews.

Long pause.

BATMAN:
Again?

ALFRED:
I’ve analyzed the rhetoric, sir. It appears bodily threats are now being rebranded as activism.

BATMAN:
And the media?

ALFRED:
Using the phrase “tensions flared.”

BATMAN:
Of course they are.

ROBIN (young, confused):
Wait… I thought targeting religious minorities was… bad?

Entire Batcave falls silent.

BATMAN:
It used to be.

Villain reveal:

A smug hybrid villain known only as THE WHATABOUTER, whose sole superpower is interrupting every incident involving Jews with unrelated geopolitical talking points.

WHATABOUTER:
Yes, but have you considered —

Batman throws batarang.

BATMAN:
Not tonight.

Closing narration:

In Gotham, the villains used to hide behind masks because they were ashamed. Now some wear them because they think they’re righteous.

Next week on Batman: Gotham’s heroes attempt the impossible: convincing people that threatening Jews outside houses of worship is, in fact, bad.

Surprise guest: Catwoman. Sleek in black leather sporting an unmistakable chai.